Who we really are.

This isn’t a philosophical post. What I am about to write may offend you as you near the conclusion. Especially if your gender is  Male. I expect most of you to quit reading as you finish the first paragraph, two at the most. But, if you still make it to the bottom of this page, you MAY see things differently!

Recently, a lot of my Facebook friends shared a few pictures, all of them raising one common issue – our circumscribed thinking. They sure made me disgust mine, if you haven’t already seen those pics you’ll feel the same in about 10 mins. In case you saw and ignored the message, well BURN in HELL. I am going to talk about the best ones that may shake your sleeping conscience.

1: If you feel that it is hot, plant a tree. This is pretty right actually. After reading a few blogs and wiki pages I came to a conclusion that “TREES ARE VERY IMPORTANT”. I think i don’t need to mention elementary science reasons for that. Unfortunately, we are at fault. We may give infinite reason for deforestation, but justify none. There is no point in lecturing you over its effects. If you understand how to use a computer and read my blog, you very well know its implications.

2: Surely a bullet train will solve all the problems of a 10 year old child labor. Recently, Indian government gestured multiple times about its plans to accelerate India’s technological growth. 100 Crores have been proposed for its infrastructural development.  Another proposal was to erect a 182 mts tall monument of Vallabhbhai Patel with an expected budget of $34 Million. Those are large values.I am sure this had more priority than current fiscal deficit of India, increasing inflation, decreasing education standards, unemployment. I am sure these can be tackled in the next FY. After all “Ache din ane wale hai(Good days are about to come)” as campaigned by Bhartiye Janta party. We so readily accept what we are given. We have learned to move on quicker now. To some a bullet train seems the right thing, but that is only from individualistic perspective. If we were to consider this whole society then there may appear things of higher importance than that.

3: We live in a society where Porn Stars are easily accepted as Actors while a rape victim is denied the status of a person. (this ripped my conscience).  These are strong words and have even stronger message. In itself they are a one liner description of our pigeonholed psychology. We all (including me as well) may write, debate endlessly on the female empowerment, but never may arrive at the definitive solution for it. We call ourselves so morally strong. However, we forget to scrutinize our insensitive conduct with these victims. They don’t need our sympathy, for it is the last thing they ask for. Empathy doesn’t help either as it is fake unless you’ve been yourself in such a situation. What is the solution? Did you ever though about it ? I did once. I ended up blaming the society and the political structure of India. What I did not realize ,until i read this line, was that I belonged to the same society as well. I chose the government in action. All that I get is the repercussions of my actions and my decisions. Same applies to everyone of us.

We all try to find someone that we can put the blame on, someone who will be the victim of our own collective mistake. The only solution that appears to me now is to change the world.  Obviously you can’t, you are not Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi, you are you. If you are able to bring the same change in yourself that you want to see in the world, consider it a victory.

I read these next few lines in a book and it made sense to me.

A small boy once saw a women getting raped by a very muscular guy, someone she could not overpower. The boy could have tried to save her but he saw that the women herself did not try to protest. The man saw the boy and frightened him so much that he fled the scene. His mother told him that he was too young(he was, in fact) to have saved the woman. The women herself did not protest because she knew she would die if she did. She chose life over death. But his mother was being protective of him. His uncle told him that it was the women karma that she will have to live with now(having not protested) but it was your karma to save her and now that you did not, you will have to carry the burden your whole life.      — The Secret of Nagas ( Shiva Trilogy -II)

One has to live with the decisions one makes. There is no point in writing things that you already know. We all face great challenges as individuals and as a society. Most of them can be tackled easily with reason and standing up together as one. If you read this line and have a different thinking or ideology, please surprise me!

 

A week with the Indian Air Force

I’ve never been more than 50 Km away from my parents alone for more than 2 days and when I was, I was mostly under my blood relative’s protection. Not that I despised being with them, I voluntarily stayed with them. The point I want to prove is that I’ve never been on my own for once in 21 years. I never had the chance to live in hostel, or maybe went out for an outing that lasted more that one night. When I cleared AFCAT’s cutoff and received a call letter for the Service Selection Board(SSB) process I was excited. I’d heard before about the life that one experiences in SSB and how one remembers it throughout his life. I didn’t want to let this slot get filled with another week of boring life that I live here.

I scheduled my SSB date on 23 June, 3 months after I received the call. I chose this date specifically making critical analysis of a lot of things. I knew that my end term exams would be finished somewhere around mid June and then my Job would begin on 1 July. I also had a lot to do on my body which was expanding in every direction possible. Hence I joined a Gym the next week. The next three months passed with me working my ass out to burn as many kilos as I could. Precisely, a call for AFSB(Air Force Selection Board)  was the impulse I needed.

The judgement day came and I left for the unfamiliar destination, with a lot of doubts and a little fret. Nonetheless, I arrived there and the next few hours were hard to recall. Everything happened fast or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was because I was drowsy as I could hardly close my eyes in the 7 hour-long journey via train. First day was a screening round. One had to clear all the tests on day one to proceed to phase two that would be 5 days long. I cleared it. Yes with my eyes almost closed half the time I managed to get through. We all were allotted a chest number, kind-of like an identification for the next 5 days. We all would henceforth be officially referred by our chest number. I was chest number 19. Whenever i heard this, I made my chest swell about 2 inches and I would feel ,for no reason, like an AirForce officer, though it was still a distant dream.

Next few days were a bunch of test that would test our psychology,physical fitness, group management and behavior, pilot aptitude test and what not. Group task were something I enjoyed the most.  Group Discussions, Group Obstacle Tasks, Group Planning etc were the most fun part of the stay. All these task made me feel different form the civilian life that I live back in Delhi.

Back at our rooms we were 10 different people from different cities speaking in different accent but were here for one common purpose. This was the first time I was in the same room with a Khalsa Sardar and people from Indore, Chandigarh etc. Since we knew our night would pass very dull we bought a pack of cards. It did us well for all the 4 days. We 11 people(100 from our room and one from a different room) would play cards for 2-3 hours and making endless fun of any newbie’s mistakes in the game. These 10 people made me laugh enough for my throat to act up. After the second day I could hardly say a sentence without muting  a few words. It took a week for my voice to return to normal. Sometimes we all had a very heated discussion on some irrelevant topic that we would need some distraction and we found that in those swimming calmly in sweet dreams. I can’t describe the pleasure it gave us to wake our asleep friends with ice chilled water. Some of them reacted exactly the way we wanted to. 😀 Yes some of us had the most evil mind in the whole lot.

Food was good as per my expectations of mess food. What else could a hungry and tired student want other than Chicken Curry or Egg Curry at night. Last night was a feast for us. But in this 5 day journey what I remember the most is not the food or the different life i lived there. I remember the people I met, I remember surviving 5 days without my cellphone and no internet, no connectivity to outside world except for a few minutes when we get to call our homes. These 5 days made me realize that had we been allowed to keep our cellphones, these days would have passed pathetically boring and I would have detested my decision of coming here. Whatever be their purpose of taking away our phones, it worked well for me. Although, I regret that I could not make it to the final list of selects I still did not feel bad as my purpose for being there was more or less fulfilled. I was going home with some wonderful memories and just one picture of the whole group together. 🙂AFSB

Breaking Bad

I am no junkie. I don’t smoke,drink or take any kinds of drugs that may cut me loose from my senses. But still I am high. I am hallucinated. This happens every time to me I watch Sherlock or Game of Thrones. Every time i listen to Metallica. Every time I play Call of Duty. Every time I watch Brad Pitt or Robert Downey Jr. paint the screens of my television set.There are things that make me blur the surroundings and get me into a semi-dream state. There are songs that make my heart beat at their tempo. There are movies that make my Medulla Oblongata lose control of my breathing and dim my reflexes. I am sure there are similar things for you as well.

My ears are the most sensitive part of my body. They are easily addled. They cut me from my surroundings completely. They are very robust too. They can recognize Eminem or Rihanna at the faintest of the sound. Good music gets me as high as clean meth does to some crystal junkie. It delights me as much as a marijuana joint does to an addict. Even the theme music of Sherlock gets me high enough to marathon the complete series again. “The Rains of Castamere” gets me stupefied enough to  repeat the song countless times. I have unnatural obsession with music.

My brain, this little bean in my head, is the real reason behind my volatile behavior. It stores pictures, of everything I lay my eyes upon. It runs complex, insanely tangled, algorithms to link every piece of information my senses record. The result of this algorithm is immensely pleasurable and inebriated memories or feelings that gets me into oblivion.This small organ is very easy to distract and then it wander into this gigantic world of its own where it lives with all of my imagination creating things that I dream of, living episodes of Game of Thrones,sitting on the iron throne, Flying like the Iron Man, breaking guitar on a floor with a million people shouting my name and many more stupid things like this.The thins is that this piece of meat is the reason I get high. It controls my thinking and is the reason I blackout from this world so often to walk in a world of my own leaving my subconscious to linger in the real world.

Smoking , breathing or even injecting things may get a person high. But there are things that does not require any of the above mentioned methods and can still get you in a vessel floating in air. It may be physical like the adrenaline kick while racing a Maserati or it may be something as emotional as the feeling of love that gets you dizzy. Whatever it may be, it is far more pleasurable and better than some powder choking your lungs.

 

Feminism Unleashed.

Yes, women too deserve equal rights and freedom.

THE OBSESSIVE WRITER

Long walks on a deserted street in the dark. As fun as that sounds, dangerous is the go to word to be describe it lately.
Hell Yea!

It’s time for some seriously due feminism.

I have a curfew of 6 PM. I’m not even allowed to go to school by myself. I rarely get to hang out with my friends, and when I do, it’s at the most closely located pizza joint. You know why? Because I am a GIRL.

People have asked this question over endless eons, and I’m going to as well, again!

How is this fair?

As expected, you’ll say, no, it’s not! And I’m jus wondering here. How does that help me? Or any other girl? All the posts by the “understanding” men out there who think the undermining of the feminine gender should come to an end and how men should use their stronger physique…

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Fear!

Fear is a chain reaction in brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with release of chemicals that pumps up your heart rate and fires up your breathing, making you sweat and increases your attention to your surroundings. But is this all we know about fear? You must have felt this itch in your stomach when you are alone in a room watching a horror movie with doors shut and lights dimmed and all you can hear is your own breathing when the TV is quiet, and suddenly the door slams to the wall and you gasp in fear only to realize that it was wind and no one tried to break in you room. Can sudden slam of door make you so frightened when you are siting in a room full of people? I doubt that. Then the definition of fear misses a vital link. The knowledge of your surroundings.

Our mind is very smart. Well at-least smarter than we think it is. While you were involved in watching the movie consciously, your mind was subconsciously aware of your surroundings. It was ,subconsciously, waiting for any unexpected event (to your conscious) and raise the alarm to your conscious. So the surroundings played a great deal in throwing you into panic instantly. Take another example of your subconscious messing with your head. You sometimes wake up from a dream sweating and realizing what a dreadful dream it was. Yes, you were scared your pants off by a DREAM.

However it is not always your subconscious that gets you high, sometimes there are things we fear consciously. A lot of these things that frighten you are not really things to get frightened of. You fear them because you are told to do so. Think for example, Rejection. I am sure you fear rejection, in love maybe or while being interviewed. But the biggest fear seems to be the Rejection by society. Really? Is that really worth all that rising blood pressure? Standing on a stage, in front of hundred people and speaking a few words might have given you goose bumps. It might still. But is it really that scary?

Some of you are appalled with the constant challenge your life spits at you and in desperation you “WHY ME” bomb yourself and the all mighty and you panic. Remember in the face of crises, fear is useless Yes it is. Fear is perfect, the most volatile fuel to defeat. But the same propellant can be use to shoot for victory if added in right quantity and at the right moment.It is the unknown we fear, replace it with curiosity instead. After all, you cannot fear something forever without knowing what it really is. It maybe a facade.

Then there is Death. Though some of us claim to be gutsy, we all fear it. Death is certain and meaning less (James Moriarty). Everyone has to die, but no one expects or anticipates it. That is why we fear it because it is sudden and our conscious did not had the slightest idea that it was about to be shut forever. That’s when it bleed Adrenalin , its last ray of hope for survival. That’s maybe the time when one may get to realize the fear of death.

Fear is a story you tell yourself continuously until it becomes a mind killer. It becomes a little death and brings total destruction. Fear is a liar. It lies to you the reality of the situation. It numbs your senses and makes your thought process dizzy. Fear has no logic. That is why is looks to frightening. Yes fear itself is phobia. Something like phobophobia. The only way to escape the hold fear has on us is to feed your mind with truth. It is the only way people conquer it. Have faith in your senses and capabilities because there is nothing to fear from yourself.